I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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