How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
