I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Randomize
