I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
