I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
