So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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