Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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