Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize