You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
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