The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
