he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
