I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
