if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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