I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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