he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
