Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
