She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
