I want to have your abortion
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Randomize
