Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
