it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
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she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Randomize