What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
