i permit you to call me
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize