im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
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Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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