Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He passed out mid-signature
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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