Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
