i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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