Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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