weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I have demons in me.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
