4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
