People with herpes should wear stickers.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
