glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Randomize
