Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
