she was so not down for the gang bang
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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