IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
