Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
