did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
