so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
