weddingsv make me drug and hornr
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize