I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
