I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
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I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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