Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
