If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
You need Xanax blowdarts
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
