matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
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