If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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