woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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