if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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