Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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