so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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