I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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