3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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