Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Randomize