It's like God shit irony all over that family
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
