i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I smell like Dick and happiness
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
