you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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