I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
