she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize
