glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
