I never want to see another naked old woman again.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
