a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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