God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
