We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
