I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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