For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
