i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
50% drunk capacity currently
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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