I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
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She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
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I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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