apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
