Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
