I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize