so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
