haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
